The Power of Sensitivity
Like most of the nation, we are experiencing a crisis in Oklahoma. It could be labeled as a housing crisis or a poverty crisis. Both are true. I believe what we are experiencing, however, is an empathy crisis. Our leadership team recently worked through Andre Sólo and Jenn Granneman’s new book Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, and Too-Much World. Granneman and Sólo paint what is happening as an “empathy deficit.” So many of us tend to be surrounded by those whose opinions, life experiences, and worldviews mirror our own. We follow the news sources that align with and reinforce our political and personal beliefs. We frequent the same stores and restaurants, drive the same routes, and stay within the boundaries of our day-to-day lives. It’s easy to miss that the uncomplicated parts of our lives may be deeply challenging for others.
If you are a homeowner and financially able to pay your bills, it makes sense that our current housing crisis may not be front of mind for you. I, admittedly, knew very little about evictions or landlord-tenant laws before my previous job required me to attend eviction court every day. Once there, I met tenants experiencing fear, shame, sadness, and all-consuming worry. I witnessed a legal process that moved at rapid speed, often leaving tenants confused and sometimes unaware that a sheriff would show up at their door only 48 hours later.
It should not have required me to physically be in eviction court to understand the harm this disruption can inflict upon a family. In another book, Evicted - one that has become required reading for Shelterwell team members – Matthew Desmond states that “without stable shelter, everything else falls apart.” The disruption of being evicted often means a disruption in education, job loss, and separation from community ties. It leads to the loss of personal belongings that cannot be moved out quickly enough, only to later be thrown to the curb. And, of course, the stress and shame of losing a home and searching for another – plus the financial strain that comes from multiple application fees, a deposit, and moving expenses.
While it will take a collective increase in empathy to see positive changes made for renters in Oklahoma, Shelterwell – like most nonprofits – is staffed with deeply empathetic people or, as Sensitive would describe them – highly sensitive people. Our shared passion for our work is our greatest asset, but it also puts us at risk of emotional stress and exhaustion. Our external challenge is communicating to homeowners why they should care that 18,770 evictions were filed in Oklahoma County last year. Our internal challenge is protecting our team from burnout and compassion fatigue.
As we prepare to launch our tenant education and eviction prevention programs in the coming months, our leadership team is equally focused on creating a supportive, encouraging, and emotionally safe environment for our team. For us, this means working with Sunbeam Family Services and their Employee Assistance Program to ensure our team members have access to mental health services. It also means offering a generous PTO package, paid vacation days which include a floating holiday for individual employees’ preferred religious or spiritual observation, and paying the total premium for employees’ health, dental, vision, and life insurance. But this also means creating a space where team members feel safe to share ideas, offer feedback, and voice their struggles and insecurities without fear of repercussion.
Our focus also will be, as Sensitive suggests, empowering our team to turn empathy into compassion. While the two traits are closely tied, empathy involves experiencing another’s emotional state with them. Compassion turns that understanding into action – responding with concern, care, and warmth. Doing so can take the overwhelming feelings that can come alongside empathy – an inward focus – and shift the focus externally, replacing those internal feelings with outward action. As stated in Sensitive, “Empathy alone can become overwhelming. That’s where compassion comes in. It’s what allows us to use our empathy to make a difference.”
We welcome your support as we work to make a difference for tenants and landlords in Oklahoma. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Make a donation. And read – learn how housing instability impacts children, families, and communities. Positive, lasting change will take time, but it also will require a collective agreement that we, as a community, care about a family’s access to safe, stable, and affordable housing. To see what’s on our bookshelf, click here.